


Pater Patronus

by Zoya1416



Series: "Potter Lives" [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU: Harry never goes to Hogwarts, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Inspired by Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer For Delinquents On The Run by waspabi, M/M, Missing Scene, Patronus, animagi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21894709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya1416/pseuds/Zoya1416
Summary: When Harry cast his first Patronus, Remus cried.Hermione Granger's renegade band teaches Harry magic and performs acts of resistance. Along the way they run into Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, who want to establish a connection to the boy they've never known. Harry isn't eager for this.Missing scenes from early ch.8.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: "Potter Lives" [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701967
Comments: 13
Kudos: 366





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7331278) by [waspabi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/waspabi/pseuds/waspabi). 



> I love this scene from Ch 8 of Waspabi's fic. Harry and Hermione's group have faced dementers several times and he can't learn to cast a corporeal patronus. He's furious with Remus because Remus scolded him about never having had proper magic training. He has failed to cast a patronus again, and now Remus has singled him out for another lesson.

When Harry cast his first Patronus, Remus cried. 

They were in a rocky, seaside field; he and Sirius had found Harry after years of searching. They had rescued him and his friends, but Harry appeared to hate and distrust them. He hadn't been able to cast a Patronus yesterday and seemed resentful, surly, when Remus invited him to individual training.  


“Would you like to try the charm again, Harry? It must be a powerful, joyous memory.”  


Harry glared, but cast again. This time his “Expecto Patronum” rang with confidence, and the stag burst forth. Remus gasped. Had Harry somehow remembered that first year of his life when Prongs gamboled about?

He recovered enough to tell Harry about James’s Animagus form, and then turned away, blind with tears. He stumbled into their tent, and collapsed onto the mustard-colored sofa beside Sirius.

“Harry's cast his Patronus,” he muttered, throat tight.

“I knew you could teach him,” Sirius beamed. “But what’s the matter? You look ill.”

“It’s Prongs.”

“What!”

“It’s a stag; maybe he remembers?” Tears spilled onto scarred cheeks.

"Merlin. Pater Patronus." Sirius hugged him. "He’ll protect him, Moony.”

“Yes.” He leaned his head on Sirius’s shoulder. “I - I think he will.”


	2. Chapter Two

Harry couldn’t breathe when Lupin told him his father’s animagus form was a stag. Had he ever seen it? He was more than a year old when his parents died. Could he have stood up to hold the legs of the stag as it nuzzled him? The fur would be warm and soft. Maybe he’d sat on its back while his mother’s arm surrounded him. 

He squeezed his eyes shut. The Dursleys had never given him _anything_ from his parents. Then Hermione found a magic picture – they waved and smiled, alive and happy. Two days ago Black and Lupin had stampeded into his life, and interfered with Hermione’s resistance group.

He’d hated Lupin singling him out for extra patronus practice. But he’d finally succeeded, and unbelievably it was his father’s form. He had to see it again, be sure of himself.

He concentrated again on the memories he’d used before: kicking a quaffle with Ron in the dark; the warm glow with everyone crowded together in the pub; the feel of Draco’s first hesitant hug at Jane and Cynthia’s. The memories filled him with strength and his voice rang out.

 _"Expecto Patronum!”_

The silver stag leaped forward, dazzling his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius's viewpoint when he and Remus find Harry. Moderate angst. This is a remix of Ch. 8, Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents On The Run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _"Remus and I have been searching for you for years, Harry,” Black said, his sunken eyes like desperate grasping hands. “Years — I was in Azkaban, like they said. I escaped to find someone else, someone who was hiding at Hogwarts. I escaped and made my way to the castle. I thought you’d be a student there, but no one knew where you were. I didn’t know they’d never found you. I didn’t know.”_  
>    
> _“Why the hell should you have known? Who the fuck even are you? Mate of their old professor? You knew my parents? So what?”_
> 
> _“Harry,” Black said. His mouth twisted. “I don’t suppose anyone would have told you — I’m your godfather. Your dad was my best friend. I… I was meant to look after you.”_
> 
> _“And you’ve clearly done a bang-up job,” Harry said cruelly._
> 
> CH. 8 HGHCFDOTR, when Sirius finds Harry at last.  
> This was a brief drabble when I first posted it, but I added 900 words of angst, because it was that kind of day. Not to worry, there's hope at the end. Much of this chapter is identical to waspabi's, but I've expanded it with my own ideas about how Sirius and Remus searched for Harry.  
> %%%%%%%%%

Sirius sat looking over the rocky field and the wide sea. He and Remus had spent years looking for Harry, and these Hogwarts dropouts had skived off and found him in five months. It was hard not to hate them a little. When he'd seen the picture of Peter in his animagus form, hiding as a rat with Molly Prewett's family, it fueled his rage and allowed him to break out of Askaban. He and Remus had captured Peter at Hogwarts and forced the traitor to confess he'd betrayed James and Lily. Remus had tried to stop him from killing Peter, but when the rat melted into his animagus form and tried to run away again, Padfoot leaped.

Sirius had switched to his canine form without a moment's thought and snapped the rodent's back before he could disappear down a hole. He'd shaken the rat in his jaws and felt the hot blood run over them. If Remus hadn't stopped him he could have eaten Peter. When Sirius collected himself and thrust away Padfoot's brain, Pettigrew was dead at his feet. Dead and mangled, and Sirius's teeth were wet with his blood. If Remus hadn't thrown his arms around Sirius, grabbed him and held him tightly, he might have dissolved into Padfoot and never reentered his human life.

He'd thought he'd have freedom once he'd broken out of Azkaban and brought down Pettigrew. That hope was dead now. The only chance he had of liberty - and it was a slim chance - was to give himself up to the Wisengamot and plead that he be questioned under Veritaserum. With the Death Eaters in control with the Ministry, and the Minister under Imperius, that was unimaginable. Sirius had things to do before he submitted to the Aurors again. He needed to find Harry. They needed to win the war and kill Voldemort, and only when the wizarding world was at peace could he risk humbling himself and asking for justice. Not before them. While he and Remus had searched desperately, these - children - found the clues that two grown wizards had missed. At last, by almost a miracle, they'd picked up the trace he'd placed on the girl he'd seen in London. 

It hadn't been his best day, when he interrogated two women by placing them under Imperius - all they'd done was be kind to the teens who'd been travelling with Harry. But now he knew all their names. The women were only Muggles who'd given shelter and comfort, and he'd scoured their memories for the few clues they possessed. He wasn't proud of casting Unforgivables, but - he'd already murdered a one-time friend, and he'd forfeit all his shredded soul to find Harry. 

Remus had warned him many times not to have expectations when they found Harry. _An infant wouldn't remember someone he hadn't seen for fifteen years, Sirius. He won't know you, Sirius. He was raised by the Dursleys, Sirius, don't expect him to trust a man he's never seen._ Sirius thought he'd accepted that, but he hadn't expected the punch to the gut which came when he saw Lily's eyes in James' face. The shock was almost too much, and it went about as badly as it could. 

_"I'm your godfather - your dad was my best friend. I was meant to look after you."_

_"And you've clearly done a bang-up job."_

Sirius' only satisfaction, if he could say that, that Remus had handled the situation even worse than he had. These kids had pulled off a stunt bigger than any the Marauders ever thought of - they'd kidnapped the Minister of Magic from a nest of Death Eaters and almost made away with him. Of course they would have all had their souls sucked out by Dementors if he and Remus hadn't found them in time, but it was still a bloody good job. Remus had been overcome with fear at the close call, and Sirius couldn't stop his harsh words in time. Remus had lashed out at them for being half-trained witches and wizards with no qualifications, until Sirius could soothe him and get him to leave the children's tent. He and Remus had clung to each other that night, unable to sleep, minds in turmoil. 

A day went by, and then another, and Remus had worked a miracle. He'd pulled himself together and become the teacher he was always meant to be. He'd worked with the student on their Patronuses. Harry couldn't cast the charm the first day. This might have been partially Sirius' fault. He'd lounged against his tent and made sarcastic comments the way he always had when he didn't want anyone to know how he felt. The next day he'd hidden and left Remus and Harry alone and Merlin fuck, Harry had cast Prongs as his Patronus! He still didn't want anything to do with Sirius, though, so Sirius had forced himself to wait. 

The sea was cold, gray, and pitiless. The waves swirled in and out, an endless patterns, and he stared blindly at them.

When he'd last seen Harry, the baby had been delighted to play with Padfoot and snuggled up with him. Now his godson had endured sixteen years of abuse from the fucking Dursleys. Those monsters considered beautiful, brilliant Lily a freak. What had they done to her son? His words echoed in Sirius' brain.

_" I'm your godfather. I was meant to look after you."_

_"And you've clearly done a bang up job."_

Padfoot wanted to bury his teeth in Petunia's neck, rip her throat out. 

He should have been strong and happy like James, but he'd been starved, never given love. He'd grown up thin and angry. Sirius had learned that Harry had flown once and was brilliant on a broom. In another world he'd have been a Seeker for Gryffindor. Sirius would have given him a fantastic broom. He'd have cheered at every game. This Harry wouldn't even talk to him. 

Time to be Padfoot. Padfoot didn't worry; he chased rabbits and a thousand glorious smells. But before he could change, Harry was beside him, with a picture of James and Lily. 

'Godric's Hollow, January 1980.' Merlin fuck, they waved and smiled. 

Sirius choked when he saw the picture. There they were, James and Lily, preserved in a joyous moment almost two decades past. His voice was hoarse and he could hardly speak.

'I took this picture. It was Remus's camera but he never used it.' 

He barely recognized that Harry sat next to him. His best friends, happy with a baby in the middle of a war. So many years lost, and here he was, crying in front of a child - a man - who'd never known him. 

'Do you have any more pictures? Of my parents?' Harry's voice was broken, too, quiet and brittle.

The boy was giving him a chance. A tiny break in the hard shell he'd grown for survival. Hope rushed through him; Padfoot woofed in pleasure. 

'Yes. Remus and I have the albums. Want to come see them?' 

Harry nodded his head, and they silently headed for the tent. Inside him, Padfoot ran in wild circles, barking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember that this is FANFIC OF FANFIC, and I have modified waspabi's original fic somewhat. I've added my own ideas about missing scenes. The original does not have anything from Sirius' POV, it's all mine. 
> 
> If it worries you, waspabi did not write that Sirius killed Peter, but almost the first thing Sirius says when he and Remus find Harry is that he's a murderer. Remus agrees with him, but they never say who Sirius killed. Sirius did not question Hermione's friends in London or place them under Imperius. On the other hand, waspabi gives no clues about how Remus and Sirius managed to track the group about Britain (there are hints of their presence in other scenes I won't spoil) so I added my own suppositions.
> 
> I was in a very heavy mood today when I edited this chapter and added all of Sirius' bitter thoughts.


End file.
